FUZZY INSIGHT: Reflecting on the very basic nature of tennis, Maria Sharapova said, “If you really think about it, it’s so dumb — you have a grip in your hand, strings in the racket, there’s a yellow fuzzy ball and you’re hitting it and you’ve been doing it since you were four years old — it’s ridiculous, it’s really dumb, but it’s what we do.”
A HAWK-EYE FOR A HAWK-EYE AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH: Brad Gilbert suggested that a player should lose a Hawk-Eye challenge if they submit a truly outrageous (“I need to catch my breath”) challenge.
SHIVER ME TIMBERS — FROM ANDRE’S BUCCANEER BANDANA, TO RAFA’S PIRATE PANTS TO JANKO’S EYE PATCH: First Agassi gave us his pirate bandana look. Then we got our fill of Nadal’s pirate pants. Then Travis Parrot won last year’s U.S. Open mixed doubles title. Now Janko Tipsarevic is wearing an eye patch during practice sessions to keep his head still. No, we don’t think a World TeamTennis contingent from Somalia is in the works, but who knows. BTW: East Carolina’s Pirate tennis team finished at 18-8 last year.
THE PALIGOMY PLOY: After winning the Atlanta Championships doubles crown just eight days after getting married, former Stanford standout Scott Lipsky said, “I should get married more often.”
JUST WONDERING: Is John Isner the best fighter in tennis over 6-foot-2?…Just how far can Isner and Sam Querrey go, and when will an American guy break back into the top 10? Roddick, No. 11, doesn’t have many points to defend. But after losing early in Washington, he complained of a lack of energy, pulled out of Toronto and is going to undergo tests…Will Roger Federer be able to replicate Agassi’s precedent of a late-career surge?…Will Serena and Venus actually follow through (as promised) and play the Nov. 6-7 Fed Cup final against Italy?…How different would the tennis landscape have been this year if Juan Martin Del Potro hadn’t been sidelined him six months?… With his gimpy knees, how long will Nadal’s career last?
TOP SHRIEKERS: Michelle Larcher De Brito (loudest), Victoria Azarenka (most annoying), Maria Sharapova (the tougher the moment, the higher the decibel), Petra Kvitova (a six-tone symphony), Serena Williams (intermittent but with great depth.) And the Lifetime Achievement Award goes to, who else, Monica Seles, whose mother of all grunts set the standard. Honorable Mention: the relatively silent Venus Williams.
LINDSAY AND THE OFTEN PROBLEMITIC JOYS OF PARENTHOOD: Asked which is more difficult, playing in a Grand Slam final or being a mom, Lindsay Davenport said, “At least a Grand Slam final you know there’s an end in sight.” Of parenthood, Davenport confided, “Some days you just want to pull your hair out. My son was just having the biggest tantrum I’ve ever seen here. I’m like, Oh, my God.’ He just turned three. He’s also known as Buzz Lightyear. Wears his costume daily. If you see a little Buzz around, it’s him.”
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL, WHAT’S THE (SECOND) MOST SHOCKING OF ‘EM ALL: Okay, the John Isner-Nicolas Mahut marathon was the most astounding happening of this or just about any other tennis summer. But after that what was more stunning: Italian Francesca Schiavone’s Roland Garros run, Serena’s mysterious injury when she stepped on glass in a restaurant or Federer’s curious comments after losing to Tomas Berdych at Wimbledon?
MIXED AMERICAN MESSAGE: While Mardy Fish (with wins at Newport and Atlanta), Sam Querrey (L.A. winner), John Isner (historic marathoner and Atlanta finalist) and even James Blake (some wins at last) could all point to positive results recently. But Andy Roddick, now No. 11, fell out of the top 10 for the first time since ’06. Now there isn’t an American in the top 10 since the computerized rankings began in ’73.
FED?LITE: In a breezy conversation with Tom Tebbutt, Federer admitted that a woman, Magdalena Maleeva, once beat him; that his favorite foods are Swiss, Japanese and Italian; that he was most nervous when he met former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan; that, despite all his linguistic skills, he doesn’t understand a word of his wife’s native tongue, Slovakian; that his best trick on-court is his between-the-legs shot and when he was a junior, he hit against the wall for hours and it was his best practice partner because “it would never miss.”
OMG, WE’LL NEVER KNOW: Tiger Woods won’t talk about the details of his family life. Venus won’t discuss her injuries. Now Janko Tipsarevic said he won’t reveal the meaning of his tattoos. (We can barely stand it.)
WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PIC: Venus was in L.A. pumping her new book when the Bank of the West Classic was going on up the 101 in Northern California.
NEW MATH: A banner that unfurled after Bob and Mike Bryan’s record 62th win read 1+1 = 62
BLOOPERS GONE WILD: We’re not saying the awards ceremonies at the L.A. tournament are more exciting than the matches, but they have an endearing, blooper-rich tradition. Years ago, when a Volvo exec handed the trophy over to Pete Sampras, the Hall of Famer quipped, “What have you been drinking?” The guy lost his job. Then, Agassi abruptly dismissed the value of a sponsor’s watch. This year, after the men’s semi, the P.A. announcer went into some detail on the great tradition of doubles in India and turned to Aisam-ul-Haq Qureshi and asked how about it. He replied, “I don’t know, I’m Pakistani.” During the doubles awards ceremony kudos were sent to sponsor State Farm insurance. Whoops, the tournament’s new (save the day) backer is actually Farmers. Their quick-witted exec, Kevin Kelso, then deftly diffused the twitchy moment with the sweet subtlety of a Hingis drop-shot. He quipped, “Gee, you gave me a scare a moment ago. I thought State Farm might have scooted in here.” Then Mike (or was it Bob) Bryan, thanking everyone who helped out his career, gave us a tad more info then we needed when he explained how great the late night massages were that the brothers get from their girlfriends.
A GLASS MENAGERIE: Excluding field goal kickers and Howard Cosell (who was always putting his foot in his mouth), we can’t think of any other sports figure who was so done in by their feet in a single year than Serena, whose U.S. Open foot fault led to such disastrous effect and then mysteriously lacerated her foot when she stepped on broken glass in a Munich restaurant. The incident prompted Art Spander to ask that eternal question: “Exactly why anyone steps on a glass, other than a groom at a Jewish wedding ceremony, is beyond most of us.” Of course, Williams isn’t the only player to have a run-in with glass: Sam Querrey sat on a glass table that collapsed, impaling his arm and nearly ending his career. In the midst of a nightmare, Canadian Peter Polansky ran through a plate glass window and landed in a courtyard three stories below. And David Wheaton put his hand through a dorm window while on Rollerblades at Stanford. (We’d be remiss not to mention a couple of other tennis-glass connections: In her interview in this issue, Mary Carillo talks about the glass ceiling in sports broadcasting, and then there’s the pioneer Virginia Glass, the first woman to head the American Tennis Association – the African-American sports organization.)
SERENA’S TOILET TALK: Serena offered up a handy tip: “If your phone is in your back pocket it’s a sure way to fall in toilet. I’ve done that like 20 times.”
NO FREE RIDE FOR SERENA: There’s a long history of curious confrontations between feisty Californian women and tennis authorities. (Perry Jones said young Billie Jean King couldn’t be phtographed because she was wearing shorts. Later BJK complained that the L.A. tournament provided about 12 times more in prize money to men than women. Serena and Venus had their unhappy happening in Indian Wells in ’01. And, in a far more minor incident, Serena was not pleased when the Farmers Classic refused to give her a free ticket. She tweeted, “Omg! the@farmersclassic tennis tournament in LA is charging me $100 a ticket…After I plugged them!!! Lol ill send a bill for my plug!” Williams had visited the tournament earlier in the week and posed for photos with James Blake. The brouhaha begs the question: should a tournament automatically provide a ticket to an A-list celeb who’s given to the game and the event and presumably will draw attention and create buzz, or the should the celeb forget her diva instinct and sense of entitlement and just pay up?
SHOULD BE A FUN PARTY: The International Tennis Hall of Fame had a dandy feel-good induction this year when doubles players Todd Woodbridge, Mark Woodforde, Gigi Fernandez and Natasha Zvereva joined Brad Parks and Owen Davidson. Next year, there could be a bit more spice. Agassi almost certainly will enter the Hall. Plus, there’s a decent chance his mentor/nemesis Nick Bollettieri —who narrowly missed out this year — will also join the IHOF Class of ’11. If so, it should make for an interesting (pack your pith helmet) induction weekend.
YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED US: After a problematic L.A.victory over Rainer Schuettler, a frustrated Sam Querrey said he felt like “Debbie Downer.”Then he went on to win two more matches and the Farmers Classic title.
‘THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU…’: Martina Navratilova told CNN, “I think anybody that survives the communist system, they’re pretty tough. And then being gay on top of that, that wasn’t helpful. As they say, that which does not kill you makes you stronger, so I’m pretty strong.”
THE HUMAN SPIRIT, THE HUMAN WILL AND HAVING A GENUINE LOVE AND RESPECT: It’s the fifth anniversary of one of the most exciting matches in history, the ’05 Blake-Agassi U.S. Open quarterfinal. We wrote that the classic encounter “featured the young and aging Americans with their compelling backstories and deep mutual respect and offered the roaring throng a battle of intense shotmaking and athleticism with a Rocky II fifth-set tiebreak. It all ended just after 1 a.m., but the memories will long remain. After losing, Blake said, ‘I’ve never had so much fun losing a match.’ Bill Dwyre noted, ‘It will be 120 years before we see another match like that.’ Agassi’s trainer/confidante Gil Reyes put it all in perspective, saying ‘Just think about all the things that are so special, so good about sports-the human spirit, the human will, having a genuine love and respect for each other and the biggest respect you can give an athlete is to give it all you have against him. Andre and James brought everything they could.”
OF GOD AND GLORY: Asked whether he believes in God, Rafa replied, “It’s hard to say, ‘I don’t believe in God.’ I would love to know if God exists. But it’s very difficult for me to believe. I don’t know. It’s private and I don’t want to speak about it, but if God exists, you don’t need [to cross yourself] or pray. If God exists, he’s intelligent enough to [do] the important things, the right things.” When asked to describe glory, the Spaniard said, “The glory is being happy. The glory is not winning here or winning there. The glory is enjoying practicing, enjoy every day, enjoying to work hard, trying to be a better player than before.”
RING AROUND THE ROSARY: Just as Svetlana Kuznetsova was about to serve for the Mercury Insurance Open title, ESPN showed Kuzy’s coach nervously going to his rosary. When the antsy Russian promptly went down 0-40, Pam Shriver commented: “I’m sorry but the rosary was a dead giveaway that there wasn’t a lot of confidence between the coach and the player.” Sveta then unleashed one of the most stunning chokes in memory and lost the second set. She then took a seven-minute comfort break, re-grouped and easily won the third set over Agnieszka Radwanska.
THE SPIRIT OF GEORGE STEINBRENNER LIVES ON: Late Yankee boss George Steinbrenner at one point went through 20 managers in 23 years. Andy Murray is far from that league, but with the firing of Miles Maclagan, the young Scot has already gone through four coaches.
COACHING MERRY GO ROUND: What will Paul Annacone, who worked so effectively with Pete Sampras and Tim Henman, bring to Federer’s game?
YESTERDAY’S HEROS: The heroes of last year’s U.S. Open haven’t exactly been on fire since their New York heroics. Champion Kim Clijsters has had decent results. She topped Justine Henin to win Brisbane and Venus to win Miami, but hasn’t gone beyond a quarterfinal since. Finalist Caroline Wozniacki, who won recently in Denmark, has plateaued a bit. Surprise quarterfinalist Melanie Oudin has struggled and, worst of all, men’s champ Juan Martin Del Potro is just starting to come back after a debilitating wrist injury that has sidelined him for six months.
OF COCO, COCA COLA AND COCONUTS:
• Lindsay Davenport said that Coco Vandeweghe “reminds me of myself. Very tall, very humble, very intelligent.”
• Reflecting on the evolution of courtside pick-me-ups, Doug Adler dismissively quipped that on changeovers “players used to drink Coca Cola – Coke.”
• Big John Isner is into coconut juice big time.
QUIRKS: What’s more quirky? Isner bouncing the ball between his vast legs before he serves; Novak Djokovic bouncing the ball up to 30 times before he serves; John McEnroe’s one-of-a-kind corkscrew service motion or Nadal tugging at his pants?
SO MUCH FOR CONTINUOUS PLAY: We thought conditioning, stamina and continuous play were all a part of tennis. But — after all the taping and rubdowns and (worst of all) interminably long comfort breaks — we’re not so sure.
THE GREATEST NON-OLYMPIC SPORTS RUN EVER BY ONE COUNTRY IN ONE SEASON?: What’s in Spanish water these days? Rafa wins Roland Garros and Wimbledon. Pau Gasol was front and center (pun intended) in the Lakers run to the NBA title. Spain wins the World Cup. Formula 1 driver Fernando Alonzo won the German Grand Prix. Motorcyclist Toni Elias won the German Moto2 Grand Prix. And Alberto Contador wins the Tour de France again. Nadal, who just couldn’t resist going to the World Cup final, said it was a golden era for Spain and suggested, “We have to celebrate this for a whole year because it will be very difficult to repeat.”
FISHY INSIGHT: Jon Wertheim noted that Mardy Fish, “Never quite had Andy Roddick’s game. He never quite had the polish and Harvard pedigree of James Blake. He never had a twin, nor the physique of an NBA forward. So it is that, too often, Mardy Fish has been the odd man out of the discussion about American tennis.”
THE ISNER-MAHUT MARATHON GOES ON (ECHOES AND RAMIFICATIONS):
• Of the Isner-Mahut Wimbledon marathon, ESPYS host Seth Myers said, “No one has spent that much time on grass since Cheech and Chong.” Added the SNL funnyman, “By the time the match ended, the ball boys were ball men.”
• In a result suggestive of the tortoise’s mythical win over the hare, the ESPY for the best record-breaking performance went to Isner (for his marathon triumph over Mahut) over Usain Bolt’s 9.58 second 100-meter run. (The Isner match took 3,990 times longer than Bolt’s sprint.)
• John McEnroe suggested that the long-lasting Isner should be in a Duracel commercial.
• Isner has already confided,”I’m getting pretty stale about the whole situation.”
CURIOUS QUESTIONS: Pam Shriver to Andy Murray: “Have you always had your amazing foot speed, or is it just something that happened right out of the womb?”
DO WE SMELL A THEME HERE?: McEnroe has said that if there is a bad time to break serve it’s the first game of a set, because you go into a kind of “prevent defense.” Billie Jean King has said it can be dangerous to win a set 6-0.
TOUGH TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES?: Men’s tennis, despite all of it’s young hunks, is (thank goodness) just not keeping up with other sports in the high-profile sex scandal department. Okay, far too many coaches have crossed way over the line with their pupils, but still no Tiger-gate, no Rick Pitino, no Kobe trial, no Vikings love boat.
‘SHOAL’ ENOUGH, ANDY: The Roddick Foundation will open a Youth Center in Granite Shoals, Texas…Maria Sharapova again went to Chernobyl to continue her extensive communtiy work…After visiting Chennai, Nadal decided to open a school in India.
GO FIQURE: Nadal and Novak Djokovic (who share the same publicist and played doubles in Toronto) were the first Nos. 1 and 2 players to team up since Jimmy Connors paired with Arthur Ashe in ’76…There’s a junior player named Sabina Sharipova.
YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY BABY: World TeamTennis lore tells us that when Cleveland Nets GM Clark Graebner divorced his wife Carole, he traded her away. This year, Slovakian Jarmilla Groth and her Aussie husband Sam Groth helped lead the Kansas City Explorers to their first WTT title in 18 years.
Give it up, granny: Having set the all-time doubles record, the Bryan Bros. are hoping that their 88-year-old grandma, Alice, might “give it up a little” and stop charting each and every point of their matches.
MAC TO IVAN — WE NEED TO TALK: After a 15-year break from tournament play, Ivan Lendl will play a senior circuit event in Paris in October. Lendl’s move prompted his longtime rival John McEnroe to comment, “We need to discuss a few things, both on and off the court.”
C’MON: Lleyton Hewitt is embroiled in a court battle over trademark rights for the catch phrase: “C’mon!”
FOREST HILLS GOING CONDOS?: The West Side Tennis Club is reportedly working on a deal to sell its historic stadium (the former home of the U.S. Open for more than six decades) to a local developer for $9 million.
THE CURSE OF THE WIMBLEDON SEMIS?: Which former Wimbledon semifinalist had a more lackluster follow-up — Anna Kournikova, Alexandra Stevenson, Jelena Dokic, Mirjana Lucic, Meredith McGrath or Yvonne Vermaak?
MONEY MATTERS: Sports Illustrated reported that Federer is the second highest earning athlete, with income of over 61.7 million. Tiger makes $90 million, and Phil Mickelson pulls in 61.6 million. Nadal is No. 9 with $27 million. Sharapova, the only woman in the top 20, makes $20 million, down from $23 million.
TELL THAT TO LIEZEL HUBER – SHE OF $4 MILLION IN CAREER PRIZE MONEY: New Zealander Brett Steven asserted, “You don’t want to be a doubles specialist in the women’s game. There really isn’t a good living to be made in doubles. You are only just scraping an existence.”
BAGGY ADVICE: Reflecting on Mardy Fish’s loss of 32 pounds, Jon Wertheim wrote that,”If I’m a colleague (cough, cough, [Marcos] Baghdatis, cough, cough), I’m paying close attention here.”
THREE GOOD TO IGNORE: Indulge us and try to follow us here. In the late Victor Borge’s iconic and hilarious “inflationary language” routine, where one becomes two and two becomes three, the phrase “anyone for tennis” becomes “any two for eleven-us.”
JOHNNY MAC AND THE GENIUS OVER IN ROW C: John McEnroe is a whiz. On court he’s an astounding 51-year-old player. (He annually won the French Open seniors and recently took Roddick to a tiebreak in World TeamTennis play, despite giving away 24 years.) He’s a brilliant tennis sage whose broadcasts bring delight worldwide, and he’s used self-deprecating comedic riffs to endear skeptics and gain hefty endorsements. Still, almost every year when the weather warms up, his temper flares. Welcome to Johnny Mac’s summer fire season. A couple of seasons ago, he verbally crossed way over the line when he verbally accosted Mashona Washington in D.C. and he was tossed out of a tourney at the Hall of Fame in Newport, Rhode Island. This year, in another Newport — Newport Beach, California — while playing World TeamTennis, he whacked serves over opponents heads and told someone in the crowd, “We got a genius over in Row C.” In the mixed doubles, time and again he bashed his racket and muttered not-so-wondrous things under his breath. At a feel good fundraiser in L.A., when a much younger Andre Agassi started to punish him in the second set (rather than just carrying Mac) he smithereened his racket again and again, offered some world-class snarls, got into it with a spectator, passed on talking it up with the courtside announcer, stalked off court and reportedly bashed up the locker room pretty good.
THE NUMBERS
6%: Increase in racket sales at pro/specialty shops through May, according to the TIA.
2,000: Tickets sold the day after Andy Roddick announced that he would play the Atlanta Tennis Championships.
147: Degrees on-court temperature at the Atlanta Championships.
0: Teens in the WTA’s top 20 now that No. 4 Caroline Wozniacki has turned 20. (Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, 19, is ranked No. 25.)
$22.6 Million: The U.S. Open purse, an increase of $1 million over last year and tennis’ richest purse ever.
62: The record number of doubles tournaments won by the Bryan Bros. Said Bob Bryan, “Sixty-two — I’ll never forget that number. It’s been an emotional ride talking about it every day for the last couple of months. Definitely there were nerves out there, and in that first set it felt like we couldn’t get the pickle out of the jar. The legs felt like jelly, the arms like spaghetti.”
BRYAN BROS. QUOTEBOOK
“It seemed like the other side of the moon.” — Bob Bryan on what the Woodies’ record of 62 seemed like only a few years ago
“We were the best of the ’90s and they’re the best right now, but I never played to be considered the best ever and when Bob and Mike first started out, I don’t think they did either.” — Mark Woodforde on the Woodies vs. the Bryan Bros.
“When you’re not thinking about points and thinking about breaking history, it’s not good.” — Mike Bryan
“Am I happy they are going to break our record? No. But they’re such great blokes.” —Woodforde on the Bryans
“70, 80, 100 is quite possible.” — Mike Bryan on how many titles the twins might eventually win
QUOTEBOOK
“Just don’t sit in front of the TV all summer long.” — President Obama to kids at a tennis event at the White House
“I don’t think people in business class fart less than in economy.” — Janko Tipsarevic
“The space the sun is taking up is a lot of space.” — Pam Shriver
“I went through a really tough time and it did hurt my confidence for awhile. On the other hand, my name got out there and you’re getting eight grand, five grand every time you play.” — Donald Young
“For [Mardy] Fish, making the most of what’s left of his career meant giving up French fries. For James Blake, it’s meant giving up some of his famous stubbornness.” — Kamakshi Tandon
“Behind Federer I think he might be the second most talented man on tour.” — Robbie Koenig on Davide Nalbandian
“I’d be shocked if she ever approached the top ranking again.” — Doug Robson on Ana Ivanovic
“My math teacher started to cry when I told her I was going to go pro in tennis. I was really good with numbers.” — Anastasia Pivovarova
