The Buzz

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COULD THE AUSSIE OPEN REALLY BECOME THE ABU DHABI OPEN?: Sydney, Shanghai, Dubai and Abu Dhabi have all launched bids to host the Aussie Open when Melbourne’s contract expires in 2016.

ROOTS: Serena Williams has plans to build a school for disadvantaged kids in Senegal. “Those are my roots,” said Serena. “I feel a certain tie.”

LOVING, SUPPORTIVE, GLOBE-TROTTING, GROUPIE SYCOPHANT SEEKS ALLURING FORMER TEEN IDOL TURNED SILVER-HAIRED INTERNET ENTREPRENEUR: Bjorn Borg has launched a dating website called Love For All.

HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY DAVIS CUP BROTHER: After failing to carry a triumphant Rafa Nadal around a Madrid bullring, Feliciano Lopez admitted his teammate was “a lot heavier than I thought.”

SYMPTOMATIC OF ALL THAT’S GONE WRONG WITH TENNIS?: Boris Becker said, “I’m amazed whenever I watch Serena and Sharapova. I can’t help thinking [their grunting] is bad for their vocal chords. It can’t be healthy and it can’t go on. Grunting serves no athletic purpose and should be banned. It’s symptomatic of all that’s gone wrong with tennis.”

COUNTING KUDOS (BRYAN BROS. DIVISION): In the past few months, the Bryan Bros. have collected the Olympic bronze and the U.S. Open title, successfully launched their own charity gala, appeared on the front of a Wheaties box and jammed onstage with Counting Crows in front of 25,000 fans.

GO FIGURE: James Blake was too exhausted to join his Davis Cup teammates in Madrid, yet somehow managed to schedule post-U.S. Open exos/fundraisers in Richmond, L.A., Kuala Lampur, Baton Rouge and Atlanta…Olympic gold medalist Rafael Nadal isn’t the only ATPer to get a win in Beijing this year. Roddick won Beijing’s China Open… Nikolay Davydenko says he may sue the ATP to recover legal costs after a 13-month gambling inquiry found no evidence of wrongdoing…CBS’ Labor Day coverage next year of the U.S. Open could be bumped by an expanded NFL season…The WTA plans to cap the number of medical timeouts a player can call and begin issuing penalties ranging from $100 to $500 for any excess…Billie Jean King traveled to Qatar to promote gender equality in sport.

OF BOOMS, BUSTS AND BAILOUTS:
•The most curious pop psychology theory we encountered about tennis and our economic woes contended that now our great middle class has been whacked big time, America’s affluent youth may just toughen up and get some more fire in their belly, which will help propel a whole new generation of Americans to the top of the game.

•AIG, who received an $85 billion bailout, is a U.S. Davis Cup and Japan Open sponsor.

‘COLLECTING UGLY’: Hours after the epic Nadal-Federer Wimbledon final, Nadal gave his winning racket to none other than Brad Gilbert. “I had kind of been asking for a while for a stick. Then I saw Nadal the day before Wimbledon began and I said, ‘When you win, I want your racket.’ He said,’Okay.’ So I went to the locker room around midnight when he was done with his press conferences, and he saw me waiting and started to laugh. Then he gave me the racket. I’ve got it in my tennis shop inside a glass case.”

TAKE TWO ASPIRINS AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING (NOT!): Sania Mirza’s wrist therapy included many sessions in which doctors inserted 30 needles into her index finger. Said Mirza, “Every time he hit the spot, I felt an electric current go through me. He left the needles on for 30 minutes and he did this about three, four times a day. It was very painful.”

GUTSY MEDIA COMMENTARY OF THE MONTH: Jon Wertheim wrote, “[Many] broadcasters face serious conflicts of interest. Some examples: ESPN and CBS tennis reporter Mary Joe Fernandez is married to Tony Godsick, the IMG agent for Roger Federer and Lindsay Davenport, yet both networks continue to assign her to interview players…Then there is ESPN and CBS analyst Patrick McEnroe, who serves as the U.S. Davis Cup team captain while commenting on the matches of his charges… Justin Gimelstob, an analyst for the Tennis Channel, sat in Davenport’s box at the U.S. Open…Can one remain objective in the face of financial and other relationships? Perhaps. But during the fortnight in Flushing, there’s only one analyst I take at face value: Mary Carillo.”

SPEAKING OF A CONFLICT OF INTEREST: Novak Djokovic’s family bought a Dutch ATP tournament that they will probably move to Belgrade. So the question comes to mind, will Roddick, who got into a brouhaha with Djokovic at the Open, soon be offered a hefty guarantee to show up and play Djokovic’s tournament?

‘OH, NO’ MAN: Roddick reflected on his rain-delayed Davis Cup match against Nadal, saying, “I got to the court and it was raining and it was getting heavier and heavier and I’m sitting there going, ‘Oh, no.’ Then I see them carting out the wheelbarrows and they’re putting more clay on the court and I said, ‘Oh, no.’ Then they said, ‘It’s time to go,’ and I said, ‘Oh, no.’”

ANDY NOT PALlING AROUND WITH THE GODFATHER: After Roddick was asked how he felt being from the same hometown as Marlon Brando [Omaha, Neb.], he quipped, “Marlon and I really don’t hang out that often anymore.”

JUST WONDERING: All due respect to Wimbledon’s Centre Court and the circular Court 1 at Roland Garros, but has there ever been a better tennis venue than Madrid’s Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas — an 80-year-old, 21,000-seat bullring?

GLOBALIZATION: It used to be that, toward the end of the season, there were three huge events in New York: the U.S. Open, and the ATP and WTA Championships. But, oh, have times changed. So in recent months there were three huge events in Madrid — the Fed Cup final, Davis Cup semis and the ATP’s Madrid Masters — and four major events in China — the Olympics, the Beijing Open, the ATP’s Beijing tourney and the huge ATP Masters Championships in Shanghai. All of which leaves us wondering when the ATP or WTA championships will return to New York in the coming decades.

FLUSHING FOREHANDS BY THE GANGES?: The USTA inked a $10 million-plus deal with a real estate developer in India who will work U.S. Open logos into 20 planned communities.

NO LONGER ‘SERIOUSLY EASY-GOING’: Perhaps emboldened by Jamaica’s showing at the Olympics, former Jamaican Davis Cupper Karl Hale committed $7 million in cash and gear to Tennis Jamaica.

THE FED RATE: Roger Federer surpassed Pete Sampras to become tennis’ biggest all-time money earner with $43,288,519 in on-court earnings.

PRELUDE TO A MARRIAGE?: Federer and his longtime girlfriend/advisor Mirka Vavrinec reportedly shopped for a diamond ring in Dubai…Ana Ivanovic is dating Spaniard Fernando Verdasco.

HEADLINE OF THE MONTH: Who Wears the Lederhosen in This Relationship? (On Boris Becker and fiancé Sandy Meyer-Wolden). Becker later called off the engagement, prompting Meyer-Wolden to say, “My truly greatest dream was to marry Boris and bear him children”

MAC BYTE OF THE MONTH: While reflecting on the faltering career of Donald Young, John McEnroe said, “I don’t know if he thought he didn’t need to work that hard anymore, that he didn’t need any coaching except for his parents, that his talent alone was going to break him through…but that’s not going to happen…I’m hopeful that he’ll grow up a little and get a little bit of distance from his parents. I’m not going to say his parents haven’t helped him, but he needs to get some world-class coaching.”

BALL-RETRIEVING AND THE MEANING OF LIFE: Tournament director Ion Tiriac chided TV producers for not showing the look on Rafael Nadal’s face as he took the ball from the model ballgirls in Madrid. “I don’t want to see his a— because I see that all the time,” Tiriac also said. “I always went the shortest way to the balls to pick them up. It was in my blood not to make a step more than necessary… When I look at how kids get the balls, it tells you a lot about them and the way they think about life.”

WHY NEXT SEASON WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A FIVE-PART MINISERIES ON SHARAPOVA: Maria Sharapova is dating Charlie Ebersol — the son of NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol.

WHAT DO CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, BLACK ELK AND MARTINA HINGIS HAVE IN COMMON?: Across America, Oct. 12 is generally celebrated as Columbus Day, while some states observe the International Day of Solidarity with Indigenous People (also known as Native Americans’ Day). But in Mill Valley, Calif., the mayor proclaimed Oct. 12 Martina Hingis Day.

A DESPERATE CALL IN THE WILDERNESS: During his problematic Davis Cup performance, Andy Roddick called out to dirt-meister Rafa Nadal, “Can you teach me how to slide?”

THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT ANDY: At the Advanta World TeamTennis Smash Hits fundraiser, a private lesson with Andy Roddick was on the auction block. To get a higher bid, Roddick said he’d take off his shirt during the session. That got the bid to $11,000. Then, he joked he’d do the lesson nude, which drew $15,000.

CHEAP DATE?: Maria Sharapova put herself up for auction at the Bryan Bros. charity event in L.A. But despite a warning (“My boyfriend will outbid you”), one lucky guy won a date for ‘only’ $10,000.

FINANCIAL CYCLES: Nearly 30 years after being forced out of the closet and losing all but her NBC gig, 64-year-old Billie Jean King is thriving as a Geico/NutriSystem/ American Express/Wilson spokeswoman and is banking $3 million-plus annually.

A BUMP IN THE ROAD(MAP): Unhappy with WTA Tour calendar changes, Dinara Safina said, “If they don’t listen to what we have to say, we might choose to boycott the new tour. They said the leading players would have to play in designated tournaments while lower-ranked players would be able to enter any event they like. There’s no logic.”

NO REASON TO THROW IN THE TOWEL: At the Masters in Shanghai, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga partially blamed the ballkids for his loss to Nikolay Davydenko. Said the Frenchman, “I lost a bit of energy because when I asked for my towel, my towel didn’t come. When I ask for the ball, the ball didn’t come. You are tired and play a long point and want your towel and you ask one time, two times, three times. Sometimes I have to take my towel alone. So for me, perhaps that is 10 meters more. At the end of a match, like one kilometer.” All of which led Neil Harman to write, “I want to be there when the first ballkid tells someone to get their own towel. I shall burst into applause.”

RIPPING RODDICK: In a radio interview, unsparing Dan Patrick asked model and Andy Roddick fiancée Brooklyn Decker, “Couldn’t you have done better than Roddick — like Nadal or Federer? I mean, at least get somebody who wins.” Patrick and Decker, who were on location for an SI swimsuit photo shoot, joked that they were wearing gold and silver bikinis, and that they had a bronze one picked out for Andy. Said Patrick to Roddick, “That’s usually where you finish. You’re more of a bronze guy.”

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