Sisyphus, Paganini and One Heckuva Livestock Auction

0
1432

MURRAY AS SYSYPHUS: SI.com’s Jon Wertheim said that Andy Murray remains “the tennis Sisyphus. He’s long past the point of moral victories and consolation prizes, but he ought to leave Melbourne with immense confidence in his fitness level, his improved aggression, his choice of coach, his willingness to fight.”

A LOT’S AT STAKE IN MELBOURNE: Whoever wins the Maria Sharapova vs. Victoria Azarenka Australian Open women’s final will become the new No. 1, replacing Caroline Wozniacki.

VIKA GETS VOLUMINOUS: When the topic of grunting was yet again raised during a post-match press conference, Victoria Azarenka exclaimed, “Oh my God.  Every, every press conference. Can you surprise me sometimes with a different question?”

MOVING IN STEREO: The New York Times’ Lynn Zinser said the fight-for-No. 1 final between Maria Sharapova and Victoria Azarenka “might be about as pleasant to watch as a livestock auction. The grunting will come in stereo.”

TOMIC TROUBLE: Aussie teen Bernard Tomic, who reached the fourth round in Melbourne, was booked by police twice in a matter of two hours in his $150,000 BMW M3.  According to reports, Tomic and his girlfriend, Donay Meijer, were pulled over by officers after he was “showing off,” and later followed home by police after allegedly refusing to pull over.  “I don’t know what’s wrong,” said Tomic of the incidents.  “It’s like I killed somebody.  They’ve given me three tickets and one officer feels like he wants to get me and it’s not a good feeling.  It’s all happened on Australia Day when I am trying to have fun with my mates.”

HEADLINES

ALL BUT OVER, EXCEPT FOR THE SHOUTING

WHERE DID TALENT GO? U.S. TENNIS’ ‘LOST GENERATION’

QUOTEBOOK

“We both went through a physical crisis.” — Novak Djokovic on his nearly five-hour 6-3, 3-6, 6-7(4), 6-1, 7-5 semifinal win over Andy Murray

“It’s going to be a very musical final.” — Sam Sumyk, Victoria Azarenka’s coach, on the women’s title match

“I don’t understand tennis commentary, John McEnroe excepted. Unlike, say, a Paganini solo violin piece, it just can’t be as hard as it sounds.  Most tennis commentary is comprised of the bleeding obvious. Platitudes about ‘top shots’ and ‘missed opportunities’ we could get from anyone from the corner greengrocer, to your granny…” — Leaping Larry, The Age

Fernando Verdasco and Feliciano Lopez definitely use more hair gel than anyone else. They’re the pretty boys.” — Bob Bryan

“Tennis will always be a great part of my life. It’s given me so many great memories and emotional roller-coasters. I don’t think you can experience that again in any other thing in life, maybe except giving birth — no.” — Kim Clijsters, who says she’s played her last Aussie Open match

“Don’t feel too sorry for me.” — Roger Federer, who was knocked out in the semis by rival Rafael Nadal

“I believe we lost a generation of players that turned pro too early and could never really get out of the Challenger/Futures realm.  I don’t want to name names, but basically they all went out on the tour and got the crap beat out of them for three, four years and never progressed.” – USTA Player Development chief Patrick McEnroe