In the Garden of a Distant Continent

ght=”75″ />RELAXED, CANDID, POWERFUL, FUNNY, ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT, PIONEER: Li Na.

GOOD ADVICE: When Li Na swept to a 6-0 lead in the second-set tiebreak of the final and was on the brink of victory, she told herself, “Don’t do something stupid.”

TWINS IN THE GARDEN OF A DISTANT CONTINENT

By the staid palace, surrounded by a gentle canopy, the innocent child on his scooter whizzes by – future’s hope.

Quite oblivious, the tall elegant elders – French twins, 85 years – play proud. Pasty pale, waver thin and fighting fragility – in their retro baggy white shorts and floppy white shirts, they move – a ginger grace.

Hand on hip, they offer stylized old-school strokes: sweeping operatic backswings with Stravinsky flare devolve into choppy staccato punches, savvy slices.

One hundred and sixty years of tennis, two men, one court – rallying threadbare balls, a timeless ease in the inviting breezes of a cloudless Spring morning in the lush garden – Luxemberg Garden.

Then – their task done – they pause and put down their Babolats and clamor with tipsy hesitation back into their adidas warm-ups and greet the jolly matron with her white visor and gold jewels on a nearby court before they stroll to the park’s horizon where the singsong echo of the distant siren signals they will never be seen again except in the morning memory of this garden on a distant continent.

JUST WONDERING: Is this the finest era in men’s tennis?…Is the Rafael Nadal-Roger Federer rivalry the best ever?… When is there going to be a significant charge from a second-tier man to get to the very top?…Will Li Na’s win lead to a boom in Chinese tennis? And how huge a celeb will she be in China (think NBAer Yao Ming and Olympic hurdler Liu Xiang)?…Why is women’s tennis so much better than men’s tennis in China?…Caroline Wozniacki has earned her No. 1 slot. Still, one pressroom wag wondered if her match against Daniela Hantuchova had been a college hoops game, would fans have chanted: “OVERATED!”?

THE FIGHT AGAINST JUMBOIZATION: Commenting on ambitious plans for the overcrowded Roland Garros facility, French Federation President Jean Gachassin got a bit carried away, making the move sound like some kind of noble effort. Gachassin said, “The decision was a bold decision. It was brave, it was innovating and it was against the general trend to jumboization that we witness today. We made the choice of excellence, the choice of building our charm, our specificities that the whole world is envying us.”

WHAT IF?: What if Wozniacki’s father, Piotr, hadn’t suggested to Li Na (just five weeks before the French Open) that she should work with the Danish coach Michael Mortensen?…What if Albert Montanes didn’t blow his match against Fabio Fognini, who then withdrew against Novak Djokovic, leaving the Serb to chill on the sidelines for four days before his monumental semi against Federer? The Serb, perhaps out of rhythm, came out flat and finally had a bad day at the office…What if Federer’s dropshot hit the line to give him the first set of the final?… What if Francesca Schiavone got the right line call to give her a set point in the second set of the women’s final? She didn’t and her game quickly collapsed.

ISNER DID WHAT FED AND NO OTHER MORTAL HAS DONE: John Isner took Nadal to five sets at the French Open. And, BTW, does he have a penchant for the dramatic in Slams or what? He beat Andy Roddick in five late-night sets at the ’09 U.S. Open, last year there was his Wimbledon marathon, and he should be interesting to watch this year at the All-England Club.

A DAUNTING PROSPECT: Early at the French Open, Nadal said, “I [am] almost 25, but seems like I am playing for 100 years here on the tour.” So did his French Open win make him feel younger than 25? “No,” Rafa told IT. “I feel 25. I am happy with 25. I don’t want to go back four or three years, because I don’t know if I am ready to do what I did another time.”

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN PARIS: The most user-friendly scalper in sight sports a T-shirt that tells us “The Revolution is Coming”…The fromage-friendly lunch hour takes up half the afternoon…The pre-final entertainment is a 40-piece brass band with old-school gold helmets, red plumes that droop down to the musician’s waists, two sets of timpani drums and a proud ‘n pompous conductor from the Charles DeGaulle School of Music.

GO FIGURE: As a kid, Fed ‘ballboyed’ for the now-retired Patty Schnyder. He’s reached 28 straight Slam quarters but still hasn’t beaten Nadal at Roland Garros…No new Russian woman has won a major since ’04…It’s far from true, but it seems as if Andy Murray has fired as many coaches as George Steinbrenner fired managers…All four of the men’s top seeds moved into the RG semis – the first time that’s happened at a Slam since the ’06 French Open. None of the women’s top four seeds reached the semis…Another Slam, another major with no teen – or no new young man or woman for that matter — scoring a big breakthrough…Between her semi and the final, Li Na’s gained 500,000 Facebook fans…95 million Chinese watched the Li Na-Maria Sharapova French semi on TV.

WOULDN’T THAT BE JUST DANDY: Federer speaks English with an American accent, and has an American coach and agent. He plays with an American racket, wears American apparel and is pals with American celebs. (Plus, he hasn’t played a heck of a lot of Davis Cup ties for Switzerland.) So why can’t we just adopt the guy?

IT’S ONLY TENNIS, BUT I LIKE IT: Asked about her thoughts on her upcoming final, Schiavone put things in perspective, saying, “Saturday, I will go on the court enjoying, breathing, say thanks for everything, because for me to arrive in final is fantastic, is big emotions. And then play tennis. Sometimes we forget to play tennis, and we go inside us and we break everything and we are upset. But is just tennis.”

OF SHOCKS AND JOCKS: Daniela Hantuchova beat No. 1 seed Wozniacki…Arantxa Rus, No. 114, beat No. 2 seed Kim Clijsters…Caroline Garcia, just 17 and ranked No. 188, almost downed Sharapova…Isner nearly booted Nadal out in the first round.

OBVIOUSLY: As broadcaster Gigi Salmon was analyzing 6-foot-9 Isner’s service preparation, she noted, “Isner looks down at his feet and it’s a LONG way down.”

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH…WRONG: For insiders and VIPs at the French Open, there are free massages, shoe shines and haircuts.

BALLBOY-GATE: In the fifth set of his marathon against Murray, Viktor Troicki was about to put away an easy overhead when a ballboy dashed on court. Fortunately, the sad debacle didn’t affect the outcome of the match.

SAY IT ISN’T SO: Bjorn Borg didn’t come to Paris, so he wasn’t on hand to present the Coupe des Mousquetaires to Nadal when the Spaniard tied his mark of six RG titles … The fabled “Bullring” (Court 1) and the quirky, intimate Court 2 will be bulldozed as part of Roland Garros’ re-structuring plan which includes a roof by 2016…Christina McHale, 19, suffered one of the most disheartening first round collapses in Slam history, letting a 5-0 third-set lead evaporate against Italy’s Sara Errani, losing 6-7, 6-2, 9-7. The American confided, “I just panicked …[but] I’m not stunned…anything can happen in tennis.”… Murray smashed his racket on his injured foot…Igor Turcan, 38, the chairman of Moldova’s tennis federation, was killed when a parked vehicle exploded as he walked out of federation headquarters in Chisinau. Officials said it was no accident.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Reflecting on the adept skills of European dirt ballers, Mike Bryan said, “Those guys eat clay for breakfast.”…With his gluten-free diet, Djokovic may not be eating a lot of bread these days, but he’s certainly making a lot of it…It used to be said that the only thing that could stop Nadal was his knees. Now it appears that one of the few things that can stop Djokovic these days is a big bowl of gluten-soaked pasta…Chris Bowers said, “Many a dinner engagement has been wrecked by tennis’ scoring system.”

LET THEM EAT CAKE: When the Djokovic vs. Juan Martin Del Potro match was moved to a smaller court, hundreds of enraged fans who couldn’t get in chanted, “LET US IN! LET US IN!”

OUR NOMINATION FOR THE MOST EXPRESSIVE PLAYER IN ALL OF SPORTS?: Schiavone, with her bulging eyes and puffy cheeks, is the most expressive player in tennis. The Milanese is operatic to the max. “I live and I love tennis when I can express myself…enjoying and being sad…I am a mix of everything. I am transparent, so you can understand how I play and how I feel.”

MOST BIZARRE MATCH: The cramping Fabio Fognini against Montanes, who failed to convert on any of his five match points.

TAKE THIS MATCH AND SHOVE IT: Upset about a line call and trailing 7-6(4), 4-2 against eventual titlist Steve Johnson of USC in the NCAA semis, No. 3 seed Michael Shabaz of Virginia smacked a ball out of Stanford’s Taube Tennis Stadium. Hit with a point penalty, Shabaz inexplicably shook the ump’s hand and walked off the court, forfeiting the match. UVA’s Brian Boland said, “I’m in shock. I consider this the lowest point of my 15 years as a collegiate head coach.”

POST BIN LADEN:?’A REAL PEACE?CAN COME’: After the give-peace-a-chance Indo-Pak Express doubles team of Aisiam Qureshi and Rohan Bopanna reached the French Open quarters, Qureshi told IT that he will “stand with my statement” for peace that he made in New York after he reached the U.S. Open final. “For the last 10 to 12 years, the world has been uneasy. [Now] I think it can come back to a real peace and a quiet state all over. Pakistanis are really a very friendly, loving, caring people. I just hope we can start [having] international events…I haven’t played a home Davis Cup tie in five years. I hope the international community can feel Pakistan is safe. You can’t judge the whole nation on the basis of a few groups…Everyone I know…wants peace.” As IT went to press, it was announced that plans for the “Peace Match” between Pakistan’s Quereshi and India’s Bopanna on the Wagah Border had been cancelled by the Pakistani government. Because of security risks, they refused to give clearance for the match.

OF LOVE, DEATH AND PAIN: France’s Virgine Razzano — whose fiance succumbed to a brain tumor, played just eight days after his death. She said of her deceased partner, “As two people we were just one. That was powerful…The most beautiful thing we did in our life was not a match or anything else but love…We made a single being…Today it’s a big pain on me. This decision, it’s from my fiance. He would like for me to try to continue my life…To play here [is an] homage for him. It’s painful. It’s hard…I grabbed all my courage. I don’t have much. I’m very fragile. I feel lonely … I’m mourning and it’s difficult when you lose someone…who will forever be the man whom I love…I want to give love to people who want to take the love I can give.”

NOLE’S NO COMMENT: Djokovic is the international face of the new Serbia, which wants to join the European Union. He’s spoken at big rallies and elsewhere about his opposition to independence for Kosovo. In fact, few players have been more nationalistic or devoted to their country. So when the news hit that, after a 15-year search, the suspected Serbian war criminal Ratko Mladic was arrested, Djokovic was asked about the development, but he declined to comment.

CONFUCIUS IS ALIVE AND WELL: Reminded of Billie Jean King’s go-to phrase —”Pressure is a privilege” — Vania King said King “has so many mantras and likes to reiterate them and they’re great. Everyone should follow them. It’s kind of like Confucius — so simple yet so hard to follow.”

A TOUCH OF LUCK: Early in the French Open, Federer told IT that luck rarely plays a role in tennis. After the final he said, “I got maybe a touch unlucky and he [Rafa] got a touch lucky.”

ALL THINGS MUST PASS: After his loss to Fed, Djokovic said, “It was best five months of my life…an incredible period, [but] it had to end somewhere.”

BJORN WINS FRENCH JUNIORS: His Italian dad named him after a Swedish icon. He comes from Pittsburgh, a hard hat town that hasn’t produced a great tennis champion and where it’s said it’s hard to find a good court. But guess what, Bjorn Fratangelo who now trains in Naples (note the Italian connection) Florida, came to Paris without ever having won a junior Grand Slam match. But never mind, the rabid Steeler fan became the first American to win the French juniors since John McEnroe in ’77.

OUT OF SOUTH AFRICA, INTO NORTH AFRICA: The South African Open, which used to be in Vegas (and in Scottsdale before that) is no more. But there was a pre-Wimbledon grass-court warm-up in Egypt.

FAREWELL, CRAZY DAN: Austria’s “Crazy Dan” Koellerer was banned for life and fined $100,000 for match fixing. Previously, he had been accused of racism by Brazil’s Julio Silva, who filed charges against him for calling him a “monkey” and telling him to “go back to the jungle.” Last year, Koellerer’s fellow Austrian, Stefan Koubek, said Koellerer insulted him, so Koubek went over and choked him. He later explained, “I’m man enough not to let myself be insulted, especially not by him.”

THE LAST STEP ON THE WHITE MILE: Switzerland’s Schnyder retired after her 18-year career. Often a delight to watch, her spin-and-angle game came from a different mold, as did her first husband, Ranier Harnecker, who was known for his curious belief in the medicinal value of orange juice. The two created an offbeat website called The White Mile because, “at the beginning, all seems white, but the deeper you go, the more colors you will find. Many things rested in the dark, but once discovered you will definitely be surprised by the truth. A mile can be very long, especially if it’s white.” Eventually, things went wrong with Harnecker, who supposedly began to stalk Patty. So Schnyder hired a bodyguard for protection. And like another more famous Patty before her — California heiress Patty Hearst —Schnyder fell in love with and married her bodyguard.

AN AUSSIE-AMERICAN MIXED MESSAGE: Huntington Beach vet and Stanford grad Scott Lipsky teamed with Aussie Casey Dellacqua (famous for having the sweetest grandmother ever, who cheered her during her ’08 Aussie Open run) to beat Nenad Zimonjic/Katarina Srebotnik to claim the French Open mixed crown and to prove there is still spit and vinegar in Australian and American tennis.

CURIOUS QUESTION: An Italian reporter told Nadal, “In 40 years I follow tennis, I never heard the No. 1 in the world being asked so many times why you play so badly…’What are your mistakes?’ Are you surprised that every day you have to explain why you’re not at the top of your level when you’re playing, in my opinion well?”

WOZ UP?: Wozniacki, who has yet to win a major, has been at No. 1 longer than Clijsters, Jennifer Capriati, Tracy Austin and Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario.

A PERFECT POINT: While reflecting on Murray’s woe-is-me mindset, Christopher Clarey noted, “The Scotsman [is] a perfectionist in a sport where perfectionism is not an option.”

‘THE CROAT’S SPEECH’: Tennis pros have to hit the ball well. But they have to talk, too. Play a big match – talk to the media. Reach a final — give a speech. But Croat Ivo Karlovic, at 6-foot-10 the tallest man on the ATP Tour, has a problem. He stammers, and when he finished as runner-up at San Jose’s SAP Open in in ’07, tournament director Bill Rapp expressed Ivo’s appreciation through prepared comments. Now, Karlovic makes up for his speech obstacles by writing wonderful tweets. IT asked Karlovic to comment on the Academy Award-winning movie The King’s Speech, which celebrates King George VI’s historic and heroic effort to overcome his stammer. Karlovic said it was a great movie “because it describes the situation exactly. It expresses what we have to go through and how people judge us. It’s hard when words don’t come out. It’s not easy to overcome. It was a great movie because of all the work King George put in. I’ve worked on it a lot, but not as much [as he] because of all the traveling I do.” By the way, as a young Prince the future monarch, a lefty, played Wimbledon.

MUSINGS ON MARVELOUS MARIA

•Kevin Mitchell said that Maria Sharapova “stands 6-foot-2 on legs of alabaster, her blonde hair silky atop a face from Vogue and she talks with the demure calm of Ingrid Bergman — but the Russian is as tough as anyone on the women’s circuit, or maybe the men’s for that matter.”

•After tumbling to the court in Rome, Sharapova confessed, “I took a dive. I thought I was on the cliffs of Italy and forgot there was no water out there.”

•”Turn the volume down – I can hear Maria all the way in the Netherlands.” — A Dutch listener to a broadcast of a Sharapova match

•In a most positvie tone of voice, broadcaster Chris Bowers said Sharapova, “Has a truly Amazonian figure…She’s well built.”

•After her fabulous run at the French Open, Sharapova didn’t seem that upset. She said that with “a little retail therapy” she would get over her semifinal loss to Li Na just fine.