Australian Open Buzz (Day 6)

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NO KIDDING: Reflecting on how Roger Federer doesn’t hesitate to celebrate his genius, Brad Gilbert noted, “He has a quiet cockiness.”

UNKIND TO BERNIE POO AND OTHER BEDTIME CRITIQUES: After the promising, but controversial Aussie Bernard Tomic, 17, complained about playing at night, Greg Baum referred to him as Bernie Poo and then pounced, “When little Bernard wakes up, he might see that he is playing with men, not boys … He cannot play with men and ask for special dispensation for being a boy. Bernie-poo…[said] ‘I requested to play during the day, and it didn’t happen. It’s ridiculous.’ What is ridiculous is that a gifted, privileged and pampered young athlete should somehow see himself as a victim. He needs to wake up. To himself.”

BEWARE BARE REAR?: Venus Williams’ yellow dress with its revealing slits and those curious brown patches which give the appearance of a bare rear and a top which seemed to have a plunging neckline attracted plenty of notice and some catcalls. According to the Daily Mail, the outfit “brought to mind the famous Athena ‘Tennis Girl’ poster of model Fiona Butler scratching her naked bottom that once adorned the walls of so many teenage boys’ bedrooms.” Venus explained, “My dress for the Australian Open has been one of my best designs ever!…I’m wearing undershorts the same color as my skin, so it gives the slits in my dress the full effect …This is completely my design…The whole idea is just about the illusion that I’m wearing a deep V-neck. Then the idea was to wear shorts that were like the same colour as my skin. It works very well, apparently.” Last year, after France’s Alize Cornet sported a see-through top officials created a ban on daring outfits.

HEADLINES

VENUS FLESH-COLORED KNICKERS CAUSES A STIR

AUSTRALIAN OPEN OUTFIT: UNDERWEAR OR COMMANDO?

STUNNED CLIJSTERS WATCHES OPEN FAIRY TALE DISAPPEAR

CLIJSTERS SAVAGE BEATING IS INEXPLICABLE

PAST BEDTIME? ALARM NEEDED FOR LITTLE BERNARD.

SUN WILL CONTINUE TO SHINE DESPITE MOLIK MELTDOWN

SHAMELESS CHAMP SIMPLY MOVES ON – WITH THE JOB OF WINNING

WADA FINE MESS

JUST WONDERING: Justin Gimelstob asked, “Does Andy Murray [not Federer] have the best improvisional  skills in tennis … How high can John Isner rise in the rankings?  And by the way, is he really the fastest big man in tennis…Has Nikolay Davydenko been the best player in tennis over the last six months?

BIG NEWS FROM A BIG TOURNAMENT: As the once-dominant Martina Hingis began to falter, tennis was all abuzz about “Big Babe” tennis. [Think Serena Williams, Venus Williams, Lindsay Davenport, Maria Sharapova, Amelie Mauresmo, etc.]. Now men’s tennis is evolving to “Big Man” tennis. Juan Martin Del Potro outpowered “little Roger” Federer in the U.S. Open final and four ‘towers’ made it to the fourth round of the AO: 6-foot-10 Ivo Karlovic, 6-foot-9 Isner, 6-foot-6 Del Potro and 6-foot-7 Maric Cilic. All this induced Mary Joe Fernandez to quip that hefty Rafa Nadal was just “a little shrimp.”

HOW BORING CAN YOU GET?: When, in a courtside interview, Jim Courier asked Andy Murray to tell the crowd something personal about himself, the Scot was briefly dumbfounded, then quipped, “This right here proves how boring I am.” A few moments later, Courier concluded the interview saying, “I’m probably going to ask you about your love life, [so] I’m going to let you off the hook this time.”

‘DA NUMBERS

53: Minutes it took Nadia Petrova to demolish Kim Clijsters.

50: Career matches Federer has won at the AO.

0: Service games Serena has lost so far at the AO.

13-foot-3: The combined height of the dubs team of Isner and Sam Querrey.

110 mph: The average speed of Isner’s second serve.

BIRTH ORDER POLITICS: When Prince William told Serena that he liked her older sister, Venus, Serena replied that she liked William’s younger brother, Harry.

SAMPRAS AND SERENA: Cliff Drysdale offered a compelling comparison of the technically superb serves of Sampras and Serena with their slight delay on the toss,incredible shoulder rotation and savvy disquise.

BEST BACK TO BACKS WINS: Henin’s wins over Elena Dementieva and then Alisa Kleybanova and Petrova’s victories over Clijsters and then Svetlana Kuznetsova.

BEST BACK TO BACK SHOTS: Off of a Isner overhead, a sprinting Andy Murray lept and unleashed a backhand to the feet of his stunned foe. Then, seconds later, he ran 31 feet in the shadows of the arena’s back wall and hit a ridiculous backhand pass.

WORST BACK TO BACK: In comparison to last year’s classic marathon between Lleyton Hewitt and Marcos Baghdatis that incredibly finished at 4:34 a.m., this year’s confrontation between the Aussie and the Cypriot was a total dud. With Hewitt leading  6-0, 4-2 Baghdatis threw in the towel due to a shoulder prob.

SPEAKING OF BACK TO BACK: The top seven seeds all reached the round of 16 at the AO. It was only the fifth time in the lasst 25 years this has happened at any Slam.

GO FIGURE: Mama Clijsters slamming her racket onto her foot in frustration … At the U.S. Open, Petrova was dismissed by the unheralded American teen Melanie Oudin.Then at her next Slam took down future Hall of Famers Clijsters and Kuznetsova, who between them have won four slams … The last British man to reach the AO before Murray was John Lloyd, who did it in 1985 … Roddick and Fernando Gonzalez (who both have been coached by Larry Stefanki) warmed up together before their fourth round match.

PIGSKIN PARADE: It’s been a fabulous Aussie Open for football down under. FOAR (Friend Of Andy Roddick) Terrell Owens made a splashy appearance, than A-Rod let us know about all his texts to Cincy wide-out Chad Ochocinco and Georgia grad Isner was elated about the new defensive co-ordinator at UGA and then the Carolina Panthers’ Steven Smith hung out in Isner’s friends box as he went down to Andy Murray. BTW: ESPN’s came up with a basketball of tennis players at the AO. The line-up was Ivo Karlovic at center,  Isner and Juan Martin Del Potro as forewards and  Roddick (who played hoops in high school) and Rafa Nadal (who is pals with the Lakers Spanish forward Pau Gasol) as guards. ESPN would have Gael Monfils come off the bench and Mardy Fish would be there three point gunner.

WHAT A RACKET: So what’s up with all the ambient noise that invades AO broadcasts? From an oh-so-annoying chair (which was just as squeaky last year) to the whispered game plans of announcers, to loud yells of coaches that are picked up by courtside mikes, ESPN’s otherwise dandy  broadcasts, on occasion, are infested with all kinds of sounds (not to mention all those incessant grunts.)

QUOTEBOOK

“It sucks. It sucks that it has to happen.” – Kim Clijsters after her humbling, career-worst loss to Nadia Petrova

“Grand Theft Auto on Rod Laver Arena.” – Justin Gimelstob after Murray unleashed an incredible out-of-nowhere leaping winner against Isner

“We agree this is the most intense 5-0 game in the history of tennis.” — Chris Fowler on Serena’s tense marathon game against Spaniard Carla Suarez Navarro when she was up 5-0 in the first set.

“On the other side of the world a force of nature must fight to protect paradise. Nadal at the Australian Open.” – ESPN’s hype of the Spaniard down under

“You almost have to dislocate your shoulder to hit a shot like that.” – Dick Enberg on a Rafa forehand winner.

“Isner’s trying to out-Murray Murray.” – Martina Navratilova on Isner

“Today is about surviving.” – Darren Cahill on Nadal getting by the dangerous blastmeister Ivo (“Fear the Croat”)  Karlovic

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